Part I: The Making of My Betrayal, Embattlement, & Divorce (B.E.D.)
Chapter 1: Inciting Conflict to Achieve Peace
Chapter 2: Sin Defined – An Accounting for Selfishness
Chapter 3: Pain – A Pathway to Altruism
Chapter 4: Vicarious Living Through Another’s Misfortune
Chapter 5: The Genesis of a Moment
Chapter 6: The Blessings of Dysfunction
Chapter 7: A Path of Self-Affliction
Part I: So What?
Part I: The Making of My B.E.D.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts,” 1 Th 2:4. Paul experienced more physical hardships, beatings, persecution, and imprisonment than most people could ever really appreciate. In his second letter to the Thessalonians, Paul refrained from sugarcoating his message, as the truth was more important to share than any effort to make the message more palpable by watering it down.
Paul wrote, “We had previously suffered and been [imprisoned] in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in spite of strong opposition,” 1 Th 2:2. Fear of further persecution did not keep Paul, nor should it keep us, from sharing what needs to be told. If God wants us to do something, he will set the conditions for the message to come out. Herein, is how Finding Myself came to print.
After jotting my thoughts down over a period of several months, I discerned that there was a reason why the words flowed out as they did. I believe that Jesus can use our past – our successes and our failures – in this case my past, to strengthen other people. But if this is in fact a spiritually true statement, which I believe it is, then in order for me to stay within the teaching of Scripture, I had to write about certain things that are uncomfortable to talk about.
The Making of My B.E.D. addresses my life and how the circumstances of my youth conditioned me to enter into relationships which were broken from the onset. It develops the setting in which I found myself betrayed, embattled, and divorced.
Chapter 1: Inciting Conflict to Achieve Peace
Malcolm X said, “You can’t drive a knife into a man’s back nine inches, pull it out six, and call it progress.”
Like everyone, I have my own character faults; but I have learned how to mitigate the effects of conflict and I have found personal peace and wellbeing.
Chapter 2: Sin Defined – An Accounting for Selfishness
God “will give to each person according to what he has done.” For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 2:6,23 (NIV).
I believe that many relationships fail today because people have walked away from how God desires people to express love and intimacy to each other in marriage. This chapter really describes what I've learned to identify as selfishness and selfish behavior.
Chapter 3: Pain – A Pathway to Altruism
Endure your suffering as discipline. Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it (NET).
When I was at my lowest point I knew I needed to reach out and get help but I couldn’t find it within my command. Furthermore, I didn’t know anyone who had for him or herself gone through similar things that I was experiencing. What was I supposed to learn from all this heartache? And with what I learned, how can I help others?
Chapter 4: Vicarious Living Through Another’s Misfortune
“Men at ease have contempt for misfortune as the fate of those whose feet are slipping,” Job 12:5 (NIV).
While I may regale some people with lessons from my own personal mistakes and misfortunes, I rather hope to provide you with some somber encouragement and sage advice. It’s ok to laugh at what I’ve done – I do!
Chapter 5: The Genesis of a Moment
“Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it,” Genesis 28:16 (NIV).
Ever have an “A-ha!” moment, and suddenly you become aware of why you are in a particular situation? I have, and I share it with you to help you in your situation.
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Chapter 6: The Blessings of Dysfunction
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child,” 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV).
Axl Rose said, “I’ve worked too hard for my illusions just to throw them all away.” I used to think the same thing. Sometimes though, we need to throw away our trash and baggage. This is a recurring theme in the book, namely - that we need to learn what to let go of, and then let go of it!
Chapter 7: A Path of Self-Affliction
Pythagoras taught that people suffer under the evils that they bring upon themselves.
I had to learn that there was some truth to the fact that I put myself into the positions where I was taken advantage of. That doesn't mean I blame myself for other people's actions. It means I take ownership of what I've done so that I can learn from my mistakes.