Part III: Determined to Get Out of Betrayal, Embattlement, & Divorce (B.E.D.)
Chapter 15: Forewarned is Forearmed
Chapter 16: Wanton, But Never Reckless
Chapter 17: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Chapter 18: An Illusion of Due Process
Chapter 19: Process of Recovery
Chapter 20: United or Untied
Chapter 21: Facing Your Giants
Part III: So What?
Part III: Determined to Get Out of B.E.D.Though Determined to Get Out of B.E.D. is the third and final part of the book, this is the heart of what I have been led to share. Herein, I address the value of the pursuit of knowledge, and the necessity of being willing to follow where the facts lead you and to walk in any direction, irrespective of where that search may lead you in order to find the truth. I discuss the importance of constructive mentorship, the importance of accepting unwanted outcomes, the importance of using our experiences to in turn help others, and the foundation upon which we should renew a troubled relationship or upon which we should begin a new one.
Chapter 15: Forewarned is Forearmed
“With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause,” Psalm 109:3 (NIV)
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to try to understand why we did something. In the case of PTSD, it helps to understand the setting of our traumatic event. For the hundreds of thousands of men and women who have deployed to Iraq the other areas in the Persian Gulf, it may help to understand why the Middle East is in such disarray today; why Islamic extremists are trying to kill us; and why we condition our young Americans to fight and kill.
Chapter 16: Wanton, But Never Reckless
“It may be that the Lord will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today,” 2 Samuel 16:12 (NIV)
This chapter is about balancing our actions in response to the situation we find ourselves in.
Chapter 17: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
“You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.” James 4:2 (NLT)
We can do the right thing for the right reason and yet still find ourselves persecuted by those whose enmity we experience. Aesop said, “We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction.” Sometimes, doing what we need to do is difficult, but we need to learn to develop the strength to stand up to the opposition we face.
Chapter 18: An Illusion of Due Process
The Texas State Commission on Judicial Conduct says, “‘Wrong’ decisions by a judge are not misconduct, even if those decisions appear to fly in the face of the evidence or appear to be based upon ‘perjured’ testimony, and even if the judge misapplies the law.”
This is actually the law in Texas – it’s absolutely insane! Our system of justice does not always restore a victim’s rights or possessions; good people suffer; and bad people sometimes receive unjust rewards in this life.
In America, the illusion of due process only starts at the local level; it continues all the way to the Supreme Court where Chief Justice John Roberts, speaking to the University of Michigan, said, “You can’t throw me out at the next election. If you don’t like what I do, too bad.”
Chapter 19: Process of Recovery
I won’t pretend to know what you’re thinking
I can’t begin to know what you’re going through
I won’t deny the pain that you’re feeling
But I’m gonna try and give a little hope to you
From Tunnel, Third Day
I do not profess to have all the answers in this book, but I believe we can learn from one another to see what works, and what doesn't!
Chapter 20: United or Untied
“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
The title of this chapter comes from a sermon by Pastor Ed Young. If you want your relationship - any relationship - to succeed, you have to examine where "I" is located. Ok, it isn't grammatically correct in this sentence, but it makes sense in the book! If "I" am in the right place, I can be united with the person I love. If "I" am in the wrong place, the bonds between us will come untied.
Chapter 21: Facing Your Giants
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)
If our priorities are where they need to be and we have an active and growing relationship with Christ, any relationship can be restored if both partners are willing to address what went wrong and fix the problems which got them where they are.
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